Parental Concerns
I received an email containing several questions about various worldview programs as well as questions pertaining to college. Because these are often asked questions, I have decided to answer the questions, with permission from the author of the email, on this blog. Below the email (in quotes) I will address the questions one at a time.
“An unrelated question is about Impact 360. Whichever of your children have gone to that program were they able to get scholarships? I realize it is a year long similar to college in that your talking classes, food and housing but I’m also thinking that the cost of 5 years of “college” is even more overwhelming to me than 4 (times 7 kids). I am totally open for a student not stepping straight into college and instead taking a year to grow up, learn a little, serve a little and figure out if they really want to go to college and for what purpose.
I read a recent letter you sent out about your son Jonathan and that you opted to not have your kids work jobs that would tie them down or dual enrollment so that they would be available for whatever good opportunity came their way. And although there are many, good relatively inexpensive opportunities (like your 1 day seminars) I hear of lots of great opportunities that are many hundreds to many thousands of dollars. I’m just not sure that we can really afford that right now. (Of course if I really thought it would dramatically change my childs future I would make it happen. Or if I thought that one of my children were really headed down the wrong path I would require it.) Frankly, my kids get tired of hearing the same message that is so common to many foundational worldview speakers. Once the speakers get off the basic concepts it becomes more interesting (like Ken Ham or some other specific topic kind of teacher). So I guess what I’m asking is . . . is there a way you decide when enough is enough and no he doesn’t have to go to that week long thing this time at a cost of $700 or whatever it may be.”
1. College? We, as parents, have the option to encourage our children to have a purpose and a plan for the years following high school. Birth is not the only prerequisite to college. A college diploma does not guarantee a financially successful future. Many college graduates are flipping hamburgers. Many wealthy adults never finished college. As Christians, the question we should be asking is not whether or not our child should attend college, but rather “How can we help our child best use his talents and giftedness for the kingdom of God?” It might be that a mentoring or apprenticeship program is a better choice than college. On the other hand, college may be the only way to achieve certain goals (such as becoming a surgeon). Instead of asking, “Which college?” first help your child discover his calling and make plans to fulfill that call so that the use of both time and finances are maximized.
2. After high school choices? Thanks to Impact 360 and Summit Semester there are now choices for programs immediately after high school that help a child discover his calling. In England the year after high school is a “gap year.” In America most parents send their children to college immediately, many going into deep debt in order to “finish” as quickly as possible. When one considers the amount of debt incurred, the number of times a child changes his major, and the high percentage of Christian students who abandon their faith in college, a parent would be wise to consider alternatives.
3. Finish in four years? Why be in such a hurry at the expense of incurring debt? My husband and I worked our way through college. If we had to take a semester off to work, we did. Who says a child has to finish in four years? I learned far more during the latter years than the earlier years and I think many students find that they benefit more from a formal education as they grow and mature than when they are young, particularly if they are not focused on a specific goal.
4. Other options? In addition to taking more than 4 years to complete a college education (if that’s what has been decided for your child), there are alternate methods to getting a college degree. There are online classes, ways to Clep out of classes, and programs designed for specific purposes (such as “Full Sail” in Orlando).
5. Finances? Yes, many programs are very expensive. What is a parent to do? My husband and I have repeatedly experienced God’s provision in unbelievable ways for our children. We think the key is to know that you are doing what God wants you to do. The scriptures are filled with promises to provide, to bless, to make a way to do what God wants you to do. Sometimes you have to be creative and be willing to think outside the box. Many of the opportunities our children have benefitted from were bartered — tuition for a service we provided. We also encourage our children to work to earn what they need for any program they want to attend — even mission trips. They are young, healthy, able, and willing to work hard, so why not let them? Twelve years ago our oldest daughter earned the money she needed for Summit when she was 16. Our 6th child, who just turned 17, earned enough money this year to go to Brazil for a month (to see her sister), go on a mission trip to Guatemala, and to go to Summit.
6. When is enough, enough? Children (particularly teens) have a tendency to think they’ve already learned everything they need to know once they’ve attended a seminar or two. I beg to differ. Personally, I have listened to John Stonestreet give the same talk a zillion times and I still learn something new every time. This year, at our Worldview 101 seminars, we’ve added a breakout session for teens who think they’ve already grasped worldview issues and we are going to challenge them to look at the seminar as a way to learn to become a teacher, taking back what they’ve learned and sharing it with others. They will also be asked to critique and make suggestions for improvement (which will be very helpful to us).
We make our children go to certain programs (non-negotiable parental mandates) but, for the most part, our children are eager to participate in the worldview seminars, weekends, conferences, and camps that we find out about. When we take Jonathan to events where he’s going to participate (rather than teach), we learn much from his observations and comments. He’s our son, but he thinks on a different level and so his observations are usually much different than my own and, for that reason, I learn from him! If our children are encouraged to attend “yet another event” with the challenge of having a better attitude than “enduring the event” then you might be surprised at what they get out of the evet. Here are a few suggestions — challenge your children to look for mentors, or for examples to follow, or look for ways to serve others while at the event, or find ways to encourage the ministry sponosring the event. If they have a different outlook then they are bound to get something out it! At the least, they could come home, write a critique that includes suggestions for improvement (as well as commenting on the positives) and send it to the ministry.
Testimony: Two years ago our son, Jonathan, really wanted to attend Impact 360 during the first year of the program. He did everything to be accepted except take the SAT. The only dates available to take the SAT fell on days that he was teaching at a seminar, going to a seminar, or his sister was getting married. Impact wouldn’t allow him to attend without that test score. The next year he stayed home, dual enrolled a few classes and continued to attend and teach at worldview events. He took the SAT and applied to Impact 360 again. The tuition alone is enough to scare away most parents, but if Impact is where God wants your child (or Summit Semester or Oxford or any other place or program), then He can help you get your child there! We were offered a scholarship through Chic fil A (Lifeshape Ministries sponsors Impact 360) and Jonathan was given another scholarship by a family who generously contributed to his tuition out of appreciation for the part we played in their son’s life and ministry. We set up monthly payments and were on our way. At Christmas time when I went to make a payment I was told that someone anonymously paid off his tuition. Wow. What a blessing and how amazing to see God’s provision.
Now Jonathan’s planning on attending Summit Semester in the fall. He received a partical scholarship from Summit Ministries and he is hoping to have earned the balance by the end of August by working at Summit camp and teaching at the Worldview 101 seminars.
If our children feel led to participate in a ministry (or any opportunity) that is costly then we encourage them to pray for wisdom in finding a way to earn the necessary funds. Many teens have their own businesses and they can afford to pay their own expenses.
Years ago we took our children to an entrepreneurial seminar that Rhea Perry (homeschooling mother of 9) put together. We’ve always been self-employed and entrepreneurially minded, but this event changed the life of our 22 year old (who was only 16 at the time). Since that seminar he has dabbled in numerous ventures and he is doing well financially. Rhea has another event coming up in August in Atlanta and I highly advise you considering making it a family event if you can. (Even though the dates do conflict with a few of our seminars.) Here’s a link to her site: http://www.realestatedays.com/
If you go, tell Rhea I sent you!
